It's only in uncertainty that we're naked and alive!
You are here. I've been waiting for you. Look in through my window... or join me and we can look out together.
This is my journey and I want you to join in and be part of it, and I want to be part of your journey. After all, I am another you.
The Art of Self Importance - Part 1
It really is funny, you know, when I sit and observe people, and hear what they say to each other. The word that is used most often is 'I', followed closely by 'me', with 'you', 'us', 'them', and 'our' in a dead heat for third. It is simply amazing how much we need to talk about ourselves, what we do, and whom we do it with. In fact, we spend an extraordinary amount of our lives talking about ourselves. And when there's no one there to talk to about us, we talk to ourselves about us. Sometimes, as a mild diversion, we talk about you, or perhaps about them, but generally talking about you or them is really done only to compare you and them to me, me, me!! Have a laugh and try this for yourself. Sit somewhere quietly and listen to other people communicating and note how often they talk about themselves.
We describe everything to ourselves, with us quite naturally in the center of our descriptions. We express how we feel about our out there experiences, what he said, what she said, and what they didn't say. In all this, we are still the focal point of what we are talking about, as if we really are the center of the Universe. If you or them say or do something that we don't like, we can feel offended. As if what they say is actually about us. On closer inspection, however, you might notice that what they say is really a comparison or judgement about us, compared to them. So, while I talk about me, you talk about you, though it seems like we're having a conversation. Interesting.
Now the point of pointing all this out to you is to realize just how much energy we all spend in maintaining our descriptions and stories about ourselves and the world. In fact, it's so ingrained in our programming, our domestication, that we hardly have any energy left over to think or express anything else. All that energy is focused towards retaining our illusions of reality, and defending our beliefs and values. Why? What might happen if we stopped? In what other way might we re-deploy all that energy?
In continuously maintaining our descriptions of our world and who we are, we gain a small degree of safety. We know who we tell ourselves we are, and where we think we are in life. This feels solid, at least until someone comes along with a different description. Then we either rigorously defend ourselves like we actually need to, or we cave in to our fears and insecurities and wonder how they know better than us. Sometimes, though, we are quite willing to learn new descriptions, we might read a book, take a course in something, or simply ask someone for their opinion. These new descriptions then get slotted in to our existing descriptions. But not much really changes. We still describe us to ourselves, though maybe the picture is a little brighter.
What might happen if we stop? We'd have nothing to talk about. Well, there goes the social life. We'd also free up an amazing amount of energy that could be used in a more useful and loving way. We wouldn't be gossiping any more, no more spreading fear and poison. We wouldn't need to defend ourselves anymore, never need to explain who and what we are. Amazing! And after not telling ourselves how wonderful / horrible we are, we just might be free enough to really be the wonderful beings that we like to tell ourselves we are or are not.
So, here's the challenge; Stop talking about yourself. Pay attention to your internal dialogue and notice how often you talk to yourself, how often you describe yourself to yourself and simply stop. Stop talking to others about yourself. Find out what happens inside you when you stop telling yourself who you like to believe you are, and how you compare yourself with out there. What do you begin to ponder with all that newfound spare energy? How do other people react to your lack of self importance? Do they even notice?
Once we cease reinforcing our descriptions, we are free to allow new expressions of ourselves, expressions of ourselves that we never noticed we had. If we expand our self importance challenge to include all of our descriptions, not only the self ones, then life, the Universe and everything is free to be what it is instead of the very tiny perspective we had about it. This is where a tree (tall, brown trunk, branches, leaves at the top) becomes an energetic being and the world (crap, it's raining out, and cold) becomes endless Mystery.
For your information, this article includes 3 I's, 6 they's, 1 you, 7 us's, and a whopping 44 we's!